today during lunch, matt had left for about 3 hours. once i explain all, you will see why he was gone for so long. so, i hung out with a bunch of other people. and no, i didn't have to use a wheel chair. my steroid dosage has been boosted up and no i don't have a mini penis.

anyway, so, while i was sitting in math, matt comes in late. he told me he was anyway. he still came in on time to take the math test. but the college professor was being a bitch about him coming in late. he apologised a million times but i don't think that it was good enough for her. she made him stay after class for a mini meeeting. he wont tell me what he told her, but she lightened up.

i started feeling a little weak while walking to the car, so matt picked me up and carried me to the car. this seriously felt like i was living a chick flick. maybe i am.... i can compare myself with that one girl in "a walk to remember" so much, however... i am not religious, i have tattoos and peircings, and my father isn't as strict as hers.... hell, my father isn't even mean.

anyway, he put me in the car and he started driving me home. we get out of school at 1600 but we didn't get home until 1900 because of the dreaded traffic.

anyway, i get home and there are candles lit everywhere. they were brand new candles and they were just lit, so matt couldn't have done it. not unless he talked to my brother about it. and matt carried me upstairs and he sat me down on the piano bench in the jam room with all the instruments. he sat down next to me and started playing...

i had no clue that matt could play piano. he played it beautifully too! i felt like i was dreaming. i play piano myself. i've been playing it for almost 10 years now, and i was just in awe. i've never heard him play before. anyway, in comes the climax of the chick flick. he started singing "she's got a way" by billy joel. and i started to cry. when does this ever happen to someone like me?

i felt like i ruled the world the whole time he sang it. it was just so wonderful. i didn't even know he had a singing voice. this wasn't any singing voice! it wasn't nasally, and he wasn't using a head voice. he sang it just like billy joel. and i swear he isn't gay.... because i have a gay brother... believe me, i know what gay is.

and i knew it right there... what if i wasn't going to possibly pass away? i would love to marry this guy. he treats me so well... i don't understand why he does.

anyway, him and i went out to denny's and got some late night grub. then we came back to my house and walked and talked on the beach all night long. we held hands and held each other... plus.. it was damn cold... so, we pretty much kept each other warm. he even brought a blanket and we were still cold.

hw talked about ex girlfriends,and he only has 2.... i talked about my dreaded ex boyfriends... me talked about his family... i talked about mine. we had a great night, and i wish i could live the rest of my nights just like this night.

and now, he is lying in my bed. and no we didn't make love. making love doesn't matter that much anymore. really, it doesn't.... him and i are goign to sleep in the same bad facing each other. and anthing goes from there...

i think i am in love... this is how i always pictured it...

past or present

New Years - 2007-01-02
Halloween - 2006-10-30
She has definately has some sort of impact - 2006-09-25
Her very last entry... This is my very first... - 2006-09-19
My goodbye - 2006-05-03
">entry 2 - 2004.10.23

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