i came home today from school.... as stong as can be.... i came online and i see that i was confirmed to be a gold member on diary land. what the hell? i know that i didn't sign myself up for it. so... who did it???? i am guessing mr. ghost of gor because he left me a note which said "Happy Birthday, for those past, present, and maybe future. its all I could give. I dont know why I do the things I do anymore. I simply dont question them, or the intent they wish to convey. If your matt is reason enough to stick around, so be it. Please do. I hope things are going well. "
my birthday was almost 2 months ago... so definately past.
and if it wasn't him... then maybe... just maybe... I AM STUPID! :)
mr. gor... you are one awesome person. this is an original present! i have never gotten a thing like it. hell, i haven't gotten any birthday presents except for my last birthday. shall we say it is a halloween present? an early christmas present? or rather the belated birthday present... you're the only person who i hardly know and still give me a present. what do you want in return? i'll gladly give anything to you.
on to other things... my brother is engaged to his boyfriend! they got engaged yesterday on their one year aneversary. they are already planning their wedding because they do want me to attend. so, they came up with a date... and it is just around the corner. it is november the 20th. and they will be illegally married! it is a must! so, deport our family if you dare. i wouldn't mind. except that i do love america. i miss england... but i love it better here.
unfortunately matt and i had to cut our fun short. there was a shooting down the street where we were out dancing and we had to go home. but we had fun at home! everyone watched scary movies that weren't even scary last night. it was rather odd. it was me, matt, and my father all watching these movies. we laughed at parts. we watched final destination 1 and 2, willard, the ring, and signs. all were funny in a way. maybe i just am not scared any more.
johnny and joe went to a hotel last night to celebrate their engagement. how lovely. if you are questioning on who will wear the dress, you are only too stereotypical of the homo society. they both will be wearing suits. i don't think they will wear the casual marriage suits though. something more comfortable and different. they want to get married on the beach down the street. and they will honey moon in the bahamas.
to end my entry on a lovely side.... here is an entry from ghost of gor. he is a rather lovely person. everyone should read his journal...
--5:33 a.m. - 2004-11-01/P> It is said that flashes of memories we had once known come back to life to pass for one last time.
Guilt makes convicted men beg for forgiveness before they are sentenced to death. Adulterous husbands and wives admit they were unfaithful.
But what of the innocent ones. Babies with cancer. Animals who die due to illness. What memories do they reveal to themselves before they go?
I often curse the unfairness of life. Here and open mouthed to those within earshot and the replies I get in return dont offer any sort of comfort. It is an automated response. "Thats too bad, so sad, wish I could help." Why even waste the breath to ask.
Alone in the chapel of thinking I call the shower once again ideas came to mind. A gift. Maybe two before its too late. How does one make up for lost time? When nothing can be given to stop time what can one give?
Why I even write this I do not know. But to miss rainmust fall I would give Myself. My time. For when it is all said and done it has been a waste in My eyes. And when I see a second chance being taken away I cannot help but feel ashamed to have tried so many times to take My time away. I would trade with you so that the one you hold dear wont love you too late.
I would give you My time.
I would have gladly given My time to friends I have lost to cancer.
Family...
It started with Me promising Myself and others to not take away My life which kept me here. I even thought of admitting to murder so that an executioner would finish what I could not.
I would give you My time miss.....
And I hope you are not mad for My offer.
It is times like these that the drops from the shower hide what My eys cannot keep to themselves.
be well All.
GOG---
New Years - 2007-01-02
Halloween - 2006-10-30
She has definately has some sort of impact - 2006-09-25
Her very last entry... This is my very first... - 2006-09-19
My goodbye - 2006-05-03
">- - 2004.11.01
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